Recently we discovered that your work performance needs to be high on the value and low on the pain for you to succeed. I had way more comments on the pain side so this post will address a very important question:
If I’m on the value side, how should I deal with those who violate the three rules of being a pain in the a** at work?
You’ll see examples below, but I can summarize them in this one statement:
Be assertive, not aggressive.
The Non-Team Player. In dealing with the non-team player at the association I worked with, we did the right thing. We made numerous attempts to bring it the attention of our boss. He was a great guy but was uncomfortable with conflict. Our pleas went unanswered. What we should have done was:
- Make one last attempt to influence the boss.
- Go over our boss’s head to the Executive Committee, one member of which would have heeded our request.
- Confront the individual.
We didn’t do anything and suffered because of it.
If you’re not willing to be assertive and push for resolution, nothing will ever change.
The social loafer. The social loafer probably knows he’s getting away with it and won’t stop until he’s called out. In the case of our lazy group-project guy, it took us being very assertive and embarrassing the individual for the behavior to stop. We calculated what we needed to do and it made the point. Problem solved.
If you’re not willing to be assertive and confront the individual, nothing will ever change.
The annoying. This one takes direct intervention. For individuals with poor personal habits that affect you, the first stage is notifying the boss. If that goes unanswered, HR is your next step. If nothing changes, then YOU’RE on the hook. Confront the individual with assertiveness wrapped up in a blanket of respect.
“Hey John, I’m not sure you’re aware of this, but sometimes you come to work with really bad body odor. I’d appreciate it if you’d address this.”
Uncomfortable and awkward? Absolutely. Unfortunately, you might have to be the one to step up and take care of this. Don’t forget to use “I” statements, even if the group is pushing you. Own it.
Years ago while stationed at Naval Hospital Long Beach, our boss, who was a great guy but sometimes a party animal fell off the balcony of his apartment building and hit his head. It knocked out his sense of smell for a few months. One day at the clinic, the female technicians asked me to have a talk with him about his bad body odor. It wasn’t easy, but my boss thanked me. He told me he had his neighbor come by every few days to make sure he didn’t leave a pack of hamburger meat out as he couldn’t smell anything. Awkward to be sure, but my boss thought more of me after I got the courage up to help him out.
The same rules apply to other annoyances. Be assertive…with respect.
If you’re not willing to be assertive, the annoying behaviors will never change.
So that’s it. Three ways to deal with those pains in the a** at work, and maybe even at home. This week, think about how you can script out your assertiveness interventions. Until you do, nothing’s going to ever change.
