In my experience, there are three types of annoyances:
- Annoyance #1: Stuff we might be able to fix but it’s ok, we’re used to it and have accepted it.
- Annoyance #2: Stuff we can fix but we just can’t bring ourselves to do it.
- Annoyance #3: Stuff we can’t fix and we’ve resigned ourselves to it.
Annoyance #1 usually involves someone you’re close to and with time, becomes just part of the norm. You may not like it but you’ve come to expect and accept it. Examples might be my son who doesn’t clean up after himself when he makes something in the kitchen or the fact that our two poodles are absolutely un-house trainable. You simply account for it and understand you’ll be dealing with the aftermath on a somewhat regular basis. But you’re OK with that.
Annoyance #3 involves systems, structures, and situations that are beyond your control. Some of them are a part of life. I see #3 as the ridiculous taxes I have to pay or the inconvenience of having to endure TSA screening when I fly. It’s also the experiences you have come to expect from Disney (crowds, long lines, and having to pay for everything possible) and from the DMV (crowds, long lines, and rude customer service). You know it will happen and so you grit your teeth and endure it…because you have no choice.
Annoyance #2 is the subject of this post because it is actually the thing you should do something about. It could be a rude co-worker who nobody has the courage to confront. It might be the way you’ve been treated by a family member who probably has no clue they’ve irritated you.
In my case, it’s the fact that nobody can pronounce or spell my name correctly. I’ve dealt with it as long as I can remember.
Malcolm gets spelled:
- Malcom
- Malcomb
- Melcome
- Malcome
Munro gets spelled:
- Munroe
- Monroe
- Monro
- Munrow
- Minrow
Then, it’s mispronounced or people can’t understand it.
It all came to a head this weekend at Starbucks.
Me: “I’ll have a Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte” (For my wife. I prefer manly drinks like COFFEE)
Barista: “Ok, so that’s one Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte right? What’s the name?”
Me: “Malcolm”
Barista: “What was that? Milcon?”
Me: “No, Malcolm”
Barista: “Melkin?”
Me: “Uh No, it’s MALCOLM”
Barista: “How do you spell that?”
Me: “Forget it. Just put it under Dick.” (Immediately my 16 year-old daughter darts away in shame pretending to look at the coffee mugs)
Barista: (Snickering) “OK”
Now I’m not singling out Starbucks here. The same thing happens ANYTIME I have to give my name to reserve a table or identify an order. Maybe life would have been easier if I’d been named Dick. Or Bill. Or Ted. Or something that’s common and easy to spell.
I wasn’t. I was named after my dad, Malcolm Sr. I don’t know the reason why as I was pretty young back then.
But when I was in the Navy, my nickname was Mac. Life was easier. Even if you misspelled it, you never mispronounced it.
So, being that this falls squarely in the category of Annoyance #2, I took action.
Effective immediately, I insist on being referred to as MACK. With a “K”. It’s not unprecedented. Bruce became Caitlin with a few strategic Tweets and even Siri has caught on.
Yeah it will be a bit of a hassle. I have to change my email signature, my websites, my biography, and of course my voicemail. I will probably have to explain my reasons to people who know me. But at least I won’t have to contend with misspellings and mispronouncements.
I know this sounds silly to you, but you contend with something annoying right now that one simple action might fix. It could be that annoying co-worker. Or the way somebody criticizes what you do. It might be something as simple as the way your name is misspelled or pronounced. You could just suck it up and accept it, but if it’s truly in category #2, it will continue to bother you.
This week, why not take some time to sort out your annoyances. For #1 and #3, if you at least identify them, you can take your attention off them. For #2, think about how to fix it. It may not be as drastic as me changing my name, but the result will be as satisfying as removing that rock from your shoe.
Let me know how it goes.
Mack. (with a “K”)
