Asking what somebody wants is a good first step.
Boss: What do you want?
Employee: A pay raise
Boss: Oh, well we can’t give you one.
Employee storms off.
Maybe we might need a second step
Boss: Can you help me understand what a pay raise would do for you?
Employee: More money.
Boss: I guess, but is there any other reasons why a pay raise is important?
Employee: I feel like nobody around here respects me.
Boss: Hmmm. Would more money would fix that?
Employee: Maybe. I don’t know.
When asking the WANT question, don’t leave out the NEED question.
We WANT a dog because we NEED companionship.
We WANT a fancy sports car because we NEED self-esteem.
We WANT a promotion because we NEED affirmation.
Today, think about how many of your WANTS are actually NEEDS, and vice-versa. A little clarity here might make you a whole lot happier.
