Stupid is a stupid does. Forrest Gump.
“You M*&^%$#s disrespected us!” (Gang members upon seeing a rival gang in their turf)
“Nobody respected us last year but they do now!” (Winning sports team after a year of worst-to-first)
“I meant no disrespect to my esteemed colleague.” (Politician to a rival in a debate)
Respect is a word we toss around lightly but in fact it’s a loaded word. Respect means that people take you seriously. Being disrespected means that people don’t take you seriously. From gang members who protect their turf, to athletes who achieve great turnarounds, to people who want to make a point without insulting their opponent, we live in a world that values and recognizes the power of respect.
If being respected is so important, how can we gain it? To get respect you have to be respectable. In other words, do the things that get people to take you seriously.
A lot of older folks think you young people just want everything now without having to work for it. You get labeled as a Millennial or the part of the Cloud or Internet generations. Some of my colleagues make lots of money off of you trying to teach geezers like me how to deal with you. Some business people think you’re some sort of weird species that needs to be neutered or caged.
I disagree with all that. I like you. I want you to have success now. I don’t want you to have to wait for old folks like me to die off to have great positions. You should have it now!
But that comes at a cost. You have to earn the respect of others. I have some suggestions…but maybe it’s better to just give you a list of things that make you lose respect:
- Planning Stupid (AKA being late). I was taught in the military that on-time was late. 10 minutes early was your goal. Earlier was even better. Show up late enough times and people won’t take you seriously.
- Acting stupid. Are you acting appropriate to the group, the venue, or the job? If not, you’re viewed as being stupid. Stupid people won’t get taken seriously.
- Being stupid. Do you spend time growing yourself intellectually? Do you work at making good, strategic, rational decisions? If not, get busy growing your brain. Stupid people won’t get taken seriously.
- Talking stupid. Two examples here.
- Beginning each sentence with the word SO (“So…I’m thinking of having cornflakes for breakfast”). Quit trying to pretend you’re pitching to the sharks on Shark Tank and answer a question without the word SO.
- Kardashian Syndrome. Ending each sentence with an uptick, as if your statement is a question. “So…(double trouble here) I got up this morning? And I thought since I’m watching my cholesterol? That maybe I would have cornflakes for breakfast?” That’s how people talk in Australia but here in the U.S. it just sounds dumb. People who talk stupid won’t be taken seriously.
- Dressing stupid. Dress appropriate for your audience, your peers, your profession, and your job. A good rule of thumb might be just dressing one step above expectation. Better to be overdressed than underdressed or inappropriate. You’ll be judged on what you look like even before you open your mouth. And you’re really screwed if you show up late AND come dressed inappropriately.
As you make your transition from high school to college or from college to the workforce, respect is something you should crave and work hard to earn. That comes from your technical and intellectual acumen. Please don’t ruin all that hard work by doing what results in you losing respect. In other words, don’t be stupid.
