It’s noon on a hot July day in 1990 and I’m standing at the ATM at the Wells Fargo Bank in Cerritos, California getting some cash.
As I punch my PIN into the keypad and watch my account pop up, all looks normal. About $60.00 in checking which is ok since payday is just a few days off. Then before withdrawing $40.00, I check my savings.
Something’s seriously wrong. The balance in that account is wrong. Last time I checked we had about $100.00 in it. What happened to my savings?
My hands shake and I feel the pulse in my temple throbbing. I’m not sure what a panic attack is, but I just might be having one.
The guy behind me in line for the ATM clears his throat loudly. My mind clears. I look at the figure on the tiny monochrome screen again.
$45,097.00.
$45,097.00 in my savings account. I’ve never seen that much money, let alone had it in the bank.
There must be a mistake. I log out and log back in. The people behind me in line are growing impatient, but I must make sure.
And there it is. $45,097.00. I pull my card out and walk away.
When I get into my car, I realize I forgot to take any cash out. But right now I’m frozen in deep thought and still unable to catch my breath.
What should I do? How did this happen? Does anyone else know? And of course, the obvious one: Is it mine now? Maybe it falls into the confines of the “finders keepers” law.
I choose to tell nobody. Not even my wife. Maybe things will sort themselves out.
A week later, it’s still on my mind even though I haven’t checked my bank account. It’s hard to sleep at night. On one hand, this magical thing might be gone when I check. If it’s still there, then is it ok to claim it? If I had 45K in the bank, that would sure be helpful now.
We live paycheck to paycheck. My eventual ex-wife stays home with our two young children and I’m on active duty in the Navy, serving as an oral surgery assistant at Naval Hospital Long Beach. We’re renting a house from her dad and even with the reduced amount, money is tight. I begin to fantasize about what that 45K could mean for us.
I can’t wait any longer. I go the next day to the Wells Fargo Bank, this time at a new location. Maybe this will be different.
It’s not. The only difference is the amount has increased to over $46,000.00. The power of interest, I guess.
My sense of frightened awe is replaced by an intense need to tell somebody. That evening, I share the news with my wife.
She’s shocked, but excited. She comes from money and has always felt a bit ashamed that she lives a more meager lifestyle than she was raised in.
We talk about what to do. It’s an important decision that is filled with many temptations, but we know down deep inside the right thing to do.
A few weeks ago, Barb and I were talking about our kids. Dustin just bought a house, and he’s stressed out and calls often with questions and needing advice. Allison does it to a lesser extent. She tends to be more resilient but still calls from time to time needing someone to bounce ideas off.
We love imparting wisdom. It’s just flattering they still think we’re relevant. Sometimes though, it seems they shouldn’t have to ask us all this stuff. After all, when we were their age, mid-twenties, we just “figured it out.”
But I never really thought about what “figured it out” meant. How long does it take? What are the steps?
And in hindsight, In my mid-twenties I’m not sure I had anything figured out.
Then I realized that “figuring something out” is another name for acquiring wisdom. Knowing something is one thing. Wisdom is putting that knowledge to good use.
But we can only grow wisdom through mistakes. We aren’t born with it. It’s gained over time. By making lots of important decisions, good and bad, at very important times.
Which brings us back to the conversation with my first wife, back in July, 1990.
We know what the right thing to do is. Even if that money is in our account, it’s not really ours. Plus, back in those days when I was religious, I knew the money belonged to someone else and keeping it would be a sin. I also knew my Bible well enough to know there was no reference to the doctrine of “finders keepers.”
The right decision was to call the bank in the morning and tell them about the money.
And so, we decide to do the exact opposite and hang onto it. Because, you never know…
The money sits for another month, quietly gaining interest.
But it wasn’t quiet in my head. It was calling me.
I would visit it often. A trip to the ATM, just to see what it was up to. Once we took a four hour drive north to Lodi to see my wife’s sister. I made sure to check the Wells Fargo ATM up there just to be sure. Yup, still there. Only a little bit bigger.
A part of me hoped it wouldn’t be there. That the error was discovered and quietly corrected. I’m sure nobody would bother me. Anyway, it’s the bank’s fault. They’re the careless ones. Their mistake, not mine.
But maybe, if I bring it to their attention, they give me a little cash reward for my honesty. Might be $100.00 which seems paltry compared to 46K. All the more reason to just hold on and see what happens.
Summer turns to Fall. The Southern California temperatures dip into the 70s, prompting everyone to dig out the cold weather gear.
And the money in the savings account at the Wells Fargo Bank grows. Almost greedily. It taunts me each time I punch in that blessed PIN!
We grow more and more emboldened. Surely that money has been forgotten by now.
What is not forgotten is our financial situation. Money grows tighter as our kids get older. We are living beyond our means trying to blend in with my wealthy in-laws. It is depressing.
And so, it’s on a depressing Saturday in October, we decide to spend some of the money.
We think about getting a few items at Mervyn’s, a chain store like a Kohls. In fact, I think Kohls eventually bought out Mervyn’s.
My wife thinks I need to update my wardrobe. So, I do. All of it. To the tune of a couple hundred bucks. She does the same. We write checks and I keep the receipts. Then, on the way home, we total them up, stop at the ATM and I transfer the money from savings to checking. It’s done.
And it feels AMAZING!
Over the next few months, we use that money to supplement our income. And for fun things. By the time we hit January, 1991, we have spent just about 4K. And it’s still our little secret.
Right about the time we unleash air power on Iraq in Operation Desert Storm, administering the Mother of All Ass-Whippings to Sadaam Hussein, the total goes to $5,000.00 with no sign of slowing down. Until it does.
I’m wrapping up assisting on a wisdom tooth extraction on a Monday morning when my Chief hands me a phone message.
“Call this lady back ASAP,” he tells me. “She sounds pissed.”
I look at the message. When I see it, my heart sinks.
It’s from Wells Fargo Bank. From the manager. I panic. Then, I feel like throwing up.
I go into the lounge and shut the door. They caught me. I truly am a bank robber. I even toy with the idea of making a run for it. Maybe head to Mexico and change my identity. I’d be a deserter from the Navy and a terrible husband and father, but at least I wouldn’t face the shame of this stupid fucking 45K I’ve been cursed with.
But since my next patient is due in a few minutes and I am too scared to flee the country, I decide to face the music. I dial the number and it rings. I close my eyes and wait, praying it goes to the answering machine.
Then, after three agonizing rings, a woman, the manager, picks up.
When I tell her who I am, she becomes very stern.
“You had some money mistakenly put into your savings account,” she says. “What made you think it was ok to take it? Why didn’t you come into the bank and tell someone.”
I make up some excuses only a stupid 26-year-old would make and apologize. I truly feel like a child. The manager says she needs that money back instantly, but agrees to give me until Friday to produce it. I agree, even though I have no clue how I’ll get it.
And I don’t want to tell my wife just yet. I must figure out a plan before bringing her into it.
I ask my Chief if I can have an extra hour at lunch to run an errand. He agrees and I drive to the Navy Federal Credit Union branch in nearby Seal Beach to apply for a loan. I take the application, fill it out to the best of my ability, and turn it in. The clerk tells me to wait.
A few minutes later, an employee emerges and motions for me to sit down. They turn down my application. My income is too low and my debt too high. I plead my case, but they hold firm. I leave in shame and head back to work. The entire afternoon I feel sick.
That evening I tell my wife. She is angry and upset. At herself and me. This isn’t something I want anyone to know. We don’t have a lot of options.
I have no savings; other than the money I had been putting aside in the Navy’s college savings program. So far, I’d saved $2,500.00. I tell her I would use that and maybe we could somehow find the other half. She tells me she’ll ask her mom to loan us the money. I don’t like the idea but with the Friday deadline approaching, I agree.
My mother-in-law reluctantly lends us the money, even when we won’t tell her why we need it. She makes me sign a promissory note, the first time I’d heard that term since seeing it playing The Game of Life board game as a kid. I guess she doesn’t trust her dumbass son-in-law. I don’t blame her. But in my defense, my ex remarries twice after me. Two asses each dumber than the previous..
I eventually borrow money from my parents to pay off my now-ex-mother-in-law and repay them in turn, years later.
And with that, the story of what I did when I was 26 ends. I was an immature, impatient, foolish boy who only thought a few minutes ahead at a time and made more than his share of mistakes. And I sure as hell hadn’t “figured it out.”
But that’s how you learn. And now, if my kids ever find extra cash in their accounts and ask me for advice, it’s a no-brainer. Not that they would do that anyway. My kids are way smarter and more mature at 26 than I could ever hope to be. But they have challenges we didn’t have at their age. We can only help to a point. So now they’re learning things along the way. Sometimes the hard way. But that’s where wisdom is found isn’t it?
What was your special dumbass moment as a young person? What wisdom did it create in you?