Me as the LPO of the SUBASE Dental Clinic in 1996
In my first role as a supervisor, I was a complete failure.
It was 1995 and I became the Leading Petty Officer (LPO) at the Branch Dental Clinic on the Bangor Submarine base in Silverdale, Washington. 22 techs reported to me and I oversaw staffing the clinic as well as doing administrative reports. My boss, the clinic director was the worst boss I’d had up to that point. If you want to know more about him, just listen to any of my management talks or the first episode of the Boss Builder Podcast.
I had no formal training as a supervisor so more than anything, I wanted my direct reports to like me. I busted my ass for them. I protected them. I cut them as much slack as I could. And, after two tough years, I was moved from the clinic back to the headquarters command to run the I.T. department. I felt relieved but felt as though I did a good job. The best I could considering the tyrant I had to work for.
In a strange twist of fate, my wife, who at the time was the same rank as I was and working in the admin department of HQ, took over as LPO of the clinic. Now she was and still is a hard-ass. I kind of felt sorry for my old crew.
About a year later, I was finishing up my Masters degree and was in sort of a research mode. I went back to my old crew and surveyed them. I wanted to find out which style of leadership was more effective, my style, or my wife’s. I already knew the answer but in the spirit of research, I had to ask them.
And to my complete shock, each of them preferred the tough style.
“DT1”they said (this was what they called me – my rank), “We liked working for you but we also knew that we could get away with anything. When DT1 Barb tells us NO, we know she means it. We simply respect her more.”
I was disappointed but realized that it’s better to be respected than liked. You see, if you have respect, eventually people will like you. If they like you first however, you may never get respect. And we define respect as “people take you seriously.”
So, this week, do an honest self-assessment. Are you respected or just liked? If you are simply liked, step up your game professionally and get the respect of your people. Make tougher decisions. Take on greater challenges. Don’t be afraid to call out poor performers.
And if you do have respect, don’t abuse it. Use it to get what you and your team need to be successful.
I like that idea. I hope you do too!
