My dad never completed anything he started. He had lots and lots of ideas. Starting a T-shirt printing business. Run a decollating business (this involved using an old machine that separated office documents from the carbon backing – way before we had copy machines). Having a welding business. Starting a non-profit. Every great idea had a beginning but then died an agonizing slow death.
I believe a lot of it started in his childhood. His father left when he was 5 years old. He never really had support. He was ridiculed in elementary school and never graduated high school. My dad talked about this often. I believe his background was the reason he never really succeeded.
Growing up, I found myself following in these patterns. I didn’t do well in academics and only in high school did I find something I was good at, football and writing. I joined the Navy and found limited success. Career plans never worked and any attempt at creativity and having my voice heard was met with a firm “NO.”
So after 15 years of this, I got angry. And then I got out. I got sick of hearing “NO” for an answer so I started my own business and got busy doing what I wanted to do. And I’ve been pretty successful at it.
This is not to demean my dad or brag on myself. It’s something I’ve been reflecting on since listening to a podcast interview with legendary boxing trainer Teddy Atlas. He was asked what the secret was to motivating fighters. Atlas said that much of success is a mind game. If you have something that works against you, like being too short or being too slow, do you let that be the excuse for not winning or the reason you push yourself extra hard to be a winner?
So what about you?
- Are you not being promoted because you lack a degree?
- Do you not have a “seat at the table” because you don’t have a title?
- Are you starting to believe that you’re never going to be successful?
If so, then change the narrative. Think about using all the negativity as a motivator to get what you want. Think of every “NO” as a shot of Red Bull. Where others say you can’t, prove them wrong. It’s a formula that worked for Teddy Atlas and it’s worked for me. I’m sure it will work for you.
