Dear Millennial:
For some time, you’ve been much maligned by people of my generation. They’ve called you lazy, entitled, arrogant, unwilling to wait, wanting gratification now, and expecting everything handed to you. Books have been written on how to motivate you and some consultants base their entire practice on helping older generations understand you and connect better with you. In some ways, you’re seen as more of a disease than a part of the human race. You’re something to be tolerated, dealt with, and especially, put in your proper place.
I think that’s a bunch of crap.
As the father of four millennials, I think I understand you. I don’t see you as part of a stereotypical grouping, I see you as what you are: young people. What old-timers like me forget is that we were young like you and said and did exactly what you’re doing now.
Still, it leaves you in a tough place, having to prove yourself and operate in environments that put you face to face with seasoned workers. In order to help you survive and thrive, I’d like to offer you a few pieces of advice.
- Set your career goals now and begin your journey in a focused way. Having a career goal (i.e. become CEO of my startup) and articulating it lets everyone around you know that you’re being deliberate in what you do. The knock on your generation is that you don’t know what you want to do and that you got a meaningless degree, now work at Applebees, and are content to live with your parents. I know that’s not what you want. Figure out what you want and let us know you have a plan.
- Understand why people think you are disrespectful. I’m pretty sure you want to be taken seriously, to have your ideas listened to, and get that elusive “seat at the table.” That’s normal. All of us wanted the same thing. Unfortunately, those privileges are awarded slowly and it’s because wisdom comes through experience. Your challenge is that those who can give you the respect and award you the credibility are only now themselves being taken seriously. Because it took us so long, we think it should take YOU that long too. It’s neither right or wrong, it simply is. HOWEVER, you can shorten the wait and GET the respect from those older than you by asking for help. Rather than treat us as adversaries, leverage our experience and let us shorten your learning curve. We would be happy to mentor you. Communicate your career goals and ask us for help. Those older folks who turn you down SHOULD be feared and don’t deserve your respect. Do what you need to do to succeed around them, within the boundaries of the organization, and move on. Oh yes, and HOW you ask questions of us is pretty important too. Here’s an example: (You) “Why do we have to do it this way?” (seen as challenging and disrespectful. Try (You) “I’m not sure I understand. Can you tell me why we have to do it this way?” Watch the tone of voice. Even this, in a demanding tone, can come off as disrespectful. Yeah I know it sounds like we’re a bunch of babies. Just humor us ok?
- Realize that you’ll be in our position sooner than you think. The script on that graphic above is the truth. Where you are now, we once were. We were young, excited, and fearless. We wanted it all, sooner rather than later, and were willing to kick and scratch to get it. And we finally did. But that works the other way too. Where we are now, someday you will be. One day you’ll look in the mirror and see the wrinkles and gray hair. The songs you listen to now on your cool Spotify playlist will be spun on the “oldies” station. You and your colleagues will start noticing how the newer workers seem to want it all now, are unmotivated, and entitled. You’ll complain how they need to “pay their dues” just like you did. More than one of you will brand themselves as ______ generation “experts” and write a book and give talks about it. And then hopefully you’ll get over yourselves and make it your mission to grow and develop that new generation.
The circle of life affects more than Simba and Mufasa. It’s part of all of us. You can fight it or leverage it. Just know that the circle always completes, with or without you.
